you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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