i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
