It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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