I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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