and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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