the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize