Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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