I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize