bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
