I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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