i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
