Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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