I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
