Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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