You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
