I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
