so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
