i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
