yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
even my farts smell like vagina
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I want is dick and wine.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
