So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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