she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
