so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize