all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
