doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
