Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
