the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Less talking, more tequila
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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