Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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