there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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