just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
