Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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