Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
