Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Holy sore nipples Batman
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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