glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
