Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
