So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
