i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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