that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize