would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
