I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
