he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She told me I should be a condom model.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
