Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You can't just leave with hair like that
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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