Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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