I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
