I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
