One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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