hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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