Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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