How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
