i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize