Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
