whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize