if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
