I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
