so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
worst night to have a conscience
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
