Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
